Dex

Able to sit down and think of nothing is great. However i just cldnt think of anything, maybe i was forcing myself to. Why am i feeling this way? i have no idea what i want.

All i know is, im back to how i behave a year ago in august, doing more risky stuff without hesitation. Cycling at speed which above the normal "safe" limit, alone @ night....the speed and the adrenaline was what i need. That's the best i can do, until i get a bike license! But hell no i'll speed with a bike, godamnit, it kills! ha, i don't know why but a part of me was hoping i'll encounter paranormal activity, which i did eventually which stopped my stupidity. I guess i was trying to run, run into something which hopefully can end everything, the thoughts, i can't fucking believe im actually running away from my problem. Can't i just fking face it like a man?

Now, i realise im back on that same bloody track again, I'll keep punch in to the pool, whenever possible, hopefully it somehow some time i might accidentally hurt myself. And for the fact that i know i saw a girl vanishes in that lift, and i still insist on taking that lift alone, hopefully i might see something again with no where to run.

Alright, i guess its enough for now, im done having "fun", now i shall revert back to my usual self and back on track.

Thats all i have to say, after observing my behavior. I guess, this might be my way of "destressing" or whatever u call it. So long it let me go off track when i needed it, and back when full energy and ready to go. Right now, i still dun have an answer, i'll never know when i will have that answer. I guess, deep down, its always me, i've always been thinking about myself. I know something like this wld happened eventually, perhaps a reason why i stayed single for years. I can't commit.

Perhaps, this time it wld be different...but dex...are .....you.......up........for ................it?

Its because i RESPECT YOU, i do not want to be a selfish. Doesn't mean im incompetent.
Wake up ur idea and be decisive.

Its your property and i understand your concern.

here i am....wondering what to do with this blog.

i finally have the time now to do something and yet im not. What i need is a place to rant.


Ok nvm, i've burnt my weekend and gotten a marksman, hurray...gov is giving me $200 for that :D
5 down 1 more to go, if i were to get posted to guards, and successfully be converted into one...i will have a full house of badges! muahahahaha.....bleh thats if i can make it thru.

After going thru all the tough training, i've realised that there is so much that we humans can do, we are adaptive...Give us anything and we will overcome it...

in 3 weeks, i'll be standing in the parade square....and be commissioned as a leader others will look upon and follow...But am i good for it? Its always THE question everyone is asking when we woke up in the morning. I came to enlightenment that why we ask ourselves that, its because we care...we care for the people who we are going to lead and train...How we are going to make an impact not only in their lives but their love ones. Trust me, not everyone can handles that kind of responsiblity...whatever it is, im all set and ready to go. Be it a ocs instructor or a unit platoon commander, i am going to make the best out of it. My men, i'll see you soon...very soon. Well unless i ooc and become a private LMAO...private hoe -.-


Went sheesha the other night with the groupies and may, i must say its really fun. I never knew that doing something that boring can be that interesting. found ourselves a good place to lepak.

well well, i've overspent again....The gov haven give me that $200, i've gotten myself a parking summon(VIRGIN summon) and hit the curb when i was reversing my dad's car and the bumper is scratched badly/
After which movie...movie...and movie and of couse to fill my never satisfied stomach.

Went out with may today, its weird though....In the past when im out with which any female friends, i wld try my best to keep her entertain....as for her...i dun feel the need to. so...relax siol...

Alright tts all for tonight and i apologies for my meaningless last entry. U know what (it shall not be named) can do to you in this few months.....

Yea, im back from thailand and this is how i feell.....


@#$%^&*()_+ its all crap.


STUPID MOTHER FUCKING CHEEBYE WASTE OF TIME USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.


Fuck it. fuck everything. & fuck you for reading this.

FUCK YOU!!

From tuesday onwards, not only i'll have to take good care of myself, i'll have 70 over cadets to "look after" too. Its not getting any easier, its starting to take a toll on me.

I am...very tired.

Flying to brunei soon.....Alot is happening and i think im not ready yet.... nvm.

Whatever it is, i'll just embrace it. See you guys in 3 weeks. Wish my luck, hope i dont get injuried.

Labels: JCC

Labels: let it rock

I feel damn bad leaving one of my guest alone ytd night...friends kept telling me that she was alone in 1 corner. I shall not drink again :D

My responsibility is to do what is right.

Like or not we stand for something

We set an example for others to follow if we don't then we are no better than the people we fight.